What-it-would-be-like-if [we lived here] moments.


I get homesick a lot when I’m away, but I get itchy feet when I stay too long. When I’m in the village (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) I miss lots of things. I miss my comfort food, I miss the ease of western life, I miss the social aspects. But more than anything, I miss my family. I am one of five and am lucky to have brothers and sisters who are not just siblings, but friends. I have always missed them but after Bo, it’s been a different kind of longing. I want Bo to have a good relationship with her aunties and uncles, I want her to be friends with her cousins. But right now, living in the same place isn’t possible.

So we have been reveling in moments of what-it-would-be-like-if [we lived here]… Like cousins sharing a bath, playing together and cars with dual car seats. Last night ZZ and Bo had a bath together, played together. The third cousin, Didi, was here but at 15 was understandably not so keen to join in on cousin bath time. It’s been really special seeing them interact, my sisters children and Bo… sharing discovery. We all went for lunch at our favourite pay-what-you-want vegetarian restaurant in the city, we shared good food, great laughs and lots of stories. I love my siblings, and I love my niece Didi and nephew ZZ so much. They are special little (and not so little anymore) people with wonderful ideas and amazing personalities that I am so proud of. They are individuals, one a wacky, weird and absolutely joyous little boy just embarking on the world… the other a mature, kind and beautiful young woman with the world at her feet, hers for the taking. I’m so grateful that Bo has them to share her life with over the years.

As much as I loved every moment, every laugh and every sleepy eyed babe in the back seat of the car… it’s all tainted slightly because there is someone just as important to me who is not here. I’m always torn between this world and the world where we are living… hoping, wishing that they could come together more often and be one.

One more day and we go back to Indonesia, to the man and to the simplicity of village life. I’m going to restock tomorrow and then pack our bags… it’s almost time to go home.





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  • June 26, 2012 - 1:12 am

    Tamsin Michelle - Safe travels on your trip back! I know how you feel, so many bittersweet emotions and feelings. My brother had his boy in January and we have yet to meet the little fella. How I miss to be closer to family and to be able to share moments with the kiddos and their relatives like what you describe here. Ah well. We just make the best of what we have, right here right now. xxReplyCancel

    • June 26, 2012 - 7:18 am

      Sash - It’s hard missing out on family time – but your right, we have to try to live right here, right now… without dwelling too much on the “what ifs”ReplyCancel

  • June 26, 2012 - 6:00 am

    Laura - I really like this post.
    I am an ex-pat in Japan and this is one thing I worry about for our future. I desperately want my (future) kids to have a great relationships with their Grandparents and cousins.
    I feel especially guilty that I have only met my 2 year old nephew once.ReplyCancel

    • June 26, 2012 - 7:19 am

      Sash - Thanks for your comment Laura! My little nephew ZZ and I have spent five short visits together in his entire 2.5 years of life… it’s hard, and I too feel guilty. You just have to [try to] do what is best for YOUR family when the time comes… xoxReplyCancel

  • June 26, 2012 - 7:22 am

    RuZaid - Miss you and that gorgeous ‘daby’ already. Was so wonderful to have you guys here and especially to have you staying with us, so we could share all the everyday moments. Have a safe trip home x Love the photos – can you send me the one of Z walking the streets alone, so cute!ReplyCancel

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