When something really tragic happens in my life. I am always really amazed that the world just keeps on going. I mean, my world has stopped, dead in its tracks. Everything is so unknown. Everything broken. Everything scattered around, messy, if I was being totally dramatic I could even say…everything feels apocalyptic. But the world, it keeps on turning.
And I think that’s what has been so different. This time. This time my heart was broken and my world didn’t stop turning, because it’s not just me anymore. Because it’s bigger than just me. Everything is bigger now, because of Bo. Because she is so full of life and joy and laughter. Because she is strong and amazing and because I want to be both of those things for her. For myself too.
There has been other times, of course, other stories that ended in heart ache. Other relationships that ended with tears. We all know what a broken heart feels like. I wish we didn’t. But it’s so human. It’s so human to hurt and to be hurt. I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve broken hearts.
But the world, it keeps on turning.
This week has been hard. Some hours my heart feels like it is physically breaking, like it is being ripped from my body. And at other times I feel numb, I feel nothing at all, as if I’m walking in a dream. It is hard. Much like next week will be hard, and the week after might even be harder still. I’m still climbing up this hill, and I’ll keep on climbing until I reach the peak of the pain and like your emails and your comments and your beautiful gifts of words tell me – the pain will start to subside. Not tomorrow, not this month, not this year… but eventually. This will get easier. The anger will fade. The pain will lessen and what I want will become clear. But for now, I have no choice but to feel it. Just feel the pain. The betrayal. The anguish. And then keep on keeping on.
Because the world, it keeps on turning. And there is LOTS of beauty all around.
I hope you have all had a beautiful weekend inked in colour. Long hours of laughter. Time with family. Time alone. Moments of clarity.
Even when things are hard and life hurts, there is always time for smiling and laughing and loving and living.
Because the world, it keeps on turning.