I have heard one thing over and over again throughout my parenting journey. Children thrive on consistency. There are a thousand articles all over the internet shoving those words down the throats of unsuspecting parents: children thrive on consistency. In fact, they need it, according to many experts.
So if this is the way to raise children in our fast paced, consumer driven, western society… I have something that I must admit…
My name is Sash and I am… Inconsistent.
I am happily inconsistent. In fact, I thrive on inconsistency. I love nothing more than the thrill of change. The light and bright air of the open road. The breakfast for dinner. The pyjama days. The late nights under the covers watching movies when I know we “should” both be in bed.
I’ve tried to be consistent. I really have. I’ve tried to serve meals at the same time. I’ve tried to work “real” jobs and fold my laundry and wash my dishes and be organised. But I’m not any of those things. It feels like playing house, and whilst at first (after a glass or two of wine) it might feel novel… like all of a sudden I’m all grown up (am I alone in my late 20′s where I still feel like I’m light-years from being a grown up? surely not!)… but soon enough the novelty wears off and I throw the clothes in a heap and the dishes in the sink and I grab the paint and the chalk and the dinosaur tails and we escape real life into a world of make believe… or better… we escape to far off lands where we are surrounded by wonder and language and culture and the great unknown.
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Want to read more? This is just a snippet from a guest post that I wrote for Ashley over at The Stork and the Beanstalk. Click on through to read more about my inconsistencies…
stephanie mballo - Thank you for sharing your beautiful words. I’ve been a reader for a while, but I don’t think I’ve ever commented. Thank you for your honesty and your beautiful perspective. I related so much to this article.
Sash - Thanks Stephanie! xx
Liz - Hi Sash
I have to comment. As a Mum to two little people, and someone that probably sits more in the stability and consistency camp, I have to say that in my view you are providing the best consistency and stability that a mother can provide – your unconditional love, your creativity, your honesty. I actually find my kids respond so well to the generosity of spirit that comes from my heart when I am completely focused on them and being a bit unconventional! Your little girl has clearly been born to an incredible woman.
Andrea - I’m inspired by the thought of dinosaur tails. I think there is a fine balance between consistency and stagnation, and inconsistency and chaos. Somewhere in there is the right balance and it’s different for everyone. Go with what feels right works most the time I think.!
Sash - I heard a beautiful quote from Maya Angelou many years ago that now I remind myself when I am in doubt of the way we have (or do) do things. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Erin - I’m not inconsistent but honestly what do parenting books know? It’s one person’s opinion on how to raise kids based on their one child. It’s absurd. Do what works for you and your kids, that’s all you can do.
Inked in Colour: Coming full circle. - […] separation. I’ve written about feminism and the politics of infidelity, and consumerism, and parenting. I’ve written about creativity and food and travel and love and life and everything in […]