purge.

cherriesPIN ITI’ve been feeling muddled. My mind and my space unclear. Too many ideas. Not enough time. Too many voices. Not enough silence. I often wake with the feeling that I’m running out of time. As if I’m not reaching my goals fast enough. I have to physically steel myself some times and remind myself that now is the only thing that matters. Right now. Because there are no guarantees for tomorrow.

I’ve started missing the silence of the quiet life I had in Indonesia. The space. The lack of responsibility to “be” something other than what I am. I romanticise it of course. There were facets of that life that were increasingly difficult. But there were things that were so wonderful. The simplicity, for one (the food, for another).

After I got back from Melbourne, almost immediately, I began to purge.

Purge my life of the unnecessary extras. The unnecessary belongings that I’ve been holding onto “just in case…” and the feelings I’ve been holding onto “just in case…” I’ve purged my blog reader of the blogs I no longer read and my Facebook friends list of the “friends.” I had a pretty terrible backlash from doing a similar thing earlier this year. So I stopped. But it’s so noisy online and whilst I enjoy a crowded room (after a couple of glasses of wine) I prefer a small group of friends, with good conversation, and enough time alone with my muddled mind.

I purge to create space to create.

I used to live to create. To create theatre. To create art. To create stories. To create adventure. I haven’t created much since before Bo was born. She was a great and exhausting creation, she took all of my energy… and it’s only now I feel like it’s coming back.  And I’m ready.

Are you a hoarder (of things? of feelings? of friends?)… Do you love being surrounded by lots or do you function better with less?

 

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  • December 6, 2013 - 6:13 am

    Jo - I have been focusing this year on purging. Its hard work especially after years of hanging onto things just in case. Its a slow process and I guess like weight loss I didn’t collect everything overnight so it leaves my life at various speeds. Sometimes bags and bags of things leave our home and then there can be weeks that go by and no progress is made. The IT part of life is so easy to let get out of control. In January I did the same with my FB page and unsubscribed to emails I tended to just delete. I am looking forward to doing it again in January.ReplyCancel

    • December 6, 2013 - 1:55 pm

      Sash - Ah email subscriptions is on my list of things to rid myself of. It was very liberating to free myself of the “friends” that aren’t really friends. You’re right, it get’s out of control quickly. I find it also makes more space, for new favourite blogs, for new friends, for new inspiration… Thank you for being part of the conversation!

      xReplyCancel

  • December 6, 2013 - 11:24 am

    Layla - Sometimes I see photos of people’s beautiful stark white homes with no clutter, no stuff, no things. I think about how lovely it would be to live in a clutter-free space. Clutter-free doesn’t come naturally to me – but I’m finding that my head and heart space can be clearer when my physical space is more-ish under control. And that’s really the crux of it all – keeping my head and my heart in enough of a reality to decipher what is true and what is the nostalgia for the past. I read a piece recently about the idea of “nostalgia for the future,” meaning, creating enough room in one’s life/world to create a reality out of the dreams and the hopes for what comes next. And I think creating physical and emotional space plays a big role in that notion. Purge the unnecessary.

    As always, thanks for creating more thoughts in my world.ReplyCancel

    • December 6, 2013 - 1:53 pm

      Sash - Lovely to see you again here Layla. I think you’re right… and I love the idea of “nostalgia for the future,” – really lovely concept. Do you have the link? I see a lot of the start white cluter-less homes and I wonder if they really look like that when the photographer isn’t there. I think finding a balance between what is necessary and what is realistic is important. I am a firm believer that a home should be warm and lived in and comfortable… and not like a magazine spread… because lets face it, very little in magazines is actually achievable.

      xReplyCancel

      • December 6, 2013 - 10:52 pm

        Layla - When I went back and read the “nostalgia for the future” reference, it seemed much smaller than I remembered… But it is a beautiful concept, however small the reference. I have clearly internalized the thought quite significantly, and that’s the beauty writing, isn’t it?

        http://longestacres.blogspot.com/2012/05/weekend-for-summer-and-family.htmlReplyCancel

        • December 8, 2013 - 7:56 pm

          Sash - That’s exactly what writing is. Sometimes what you read isn’t really there at all. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • December 6, 2013 - 4:19 pm

    Lisa - This post really appealed to me. If only I had time to purge! How do you make time to do this?! Raising three little people seems to take all of my time. My life feels so complicated most days. And I blame all the “stuff”. I hate the stuff! I want to live a simpler life and I’d like for my children to see that life doesn’t need to be filled with stuff. It’s hard in today’s world to disconnect from consumerism with the constant marketing that gets pushed down our throats. We need this, we want that. I want to want less. Is that part of purging? Teaching yourself to need less? I think it should be!ReplyCancel

    • December 8, 2013 - 7:57 pm

      Sash - I turn it into a game and we do it together. The house turns into a terrible mess, but it’s all a process. It just becomes part of our day to day. As for the purging of the social media… I do that on the toilet. Haha. Or in bed at night…ReplyCancel

  • December 6, 2013 - 6:07 pm

    Julie - I always function better with less. Since Jarvis was born I have been on a massive purge from belongings to emotions. I have known all along what I wanted and when he was born everything else became ‘stuff’.ReplyCancel

    • December 8, 2013 - 8:00 pm

      Sash - I know exactly what you mean. Exactly.ReplyCancel

  • December 6, 2013 - 10:34 pm

    Laura June - I am feeling suffocated by things lately too. We physically have too many things in our house that keep us from keeping it tidy the way I’d like. What with Christmas fast approaching and our boys being spoiled by grandparents I am in major purge mode. I feel so much lighter when I’m not weighed down by so many physical things.ReplyCancel

  • December 7, 2013 - 9:44 am

    Andrea - I can so relate to this, little by little I am purging things, to do the same, to make space to create.Instead of purging people on facebook (because the noise is too much) I suspend the whole damn thing for weeks at a time, I drop in for a few days, and then suspend for a week or two. But the belongings, the ‘stuff’, that takes more effort to sort through and purge.

    I also used to create before I had a little one. It’s taken nearly 2 years to get the point where I have the motivation to paint and create, and now that I have the motivation again, I need the physical space for the inspiration to find a way in. It comes down to needing mental space, physical space, and that all illusive TIME. Where is time when you are a tired mum with a toddler.ReplyCancel

  • December 8, 2013 - 5:54 am

    Veggie mama - I love the purge. I feel so free. No regrets xReplyCancel

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