Hysteria and Happy Endings (An adults only give-away)

florencePIN ITimage credit: unknown.

I don’t do giveaways very often any more, for a variety of reasons… when this particular product was pitched to me I was hesitant. I politely declined, but I didn’t stop thinking about it. I asked a few people and everyone’s first response was “No way, you can’t do that,” so I started to want to do it more… My response was always, ‘but why not?” and no one, not one person had a good answer for me. When I asked my lovely, quiet and often reserverd sister, she admitted that she had no good reason why I shouldn’t do it, but couldn’t help but whisper, “but what will people think of you?” And that was it. It was settled. I had to do it.

Think of me what you will.

If you are at all prudish, this post probably isn’t for you. I suggest you click away right now. Or if you’re feeling a little brave, read on… this give away might just be exactly what you need.




In 19th century Britain, feminism was a long way off making any real ground. Women we not often afforded the same rights to education, they were customarily forced into marriage, they were paid poorly if they were allowed to work at all. Women had very little autonomy afforded to them. They weren’t allowed to vote. But these same women, women with not right to vote, were customarily visiting the doctors office to get off, with absolutely no shame at all.

Sexual frustration, a condition known as Hysteria, was not an embarrassment. It was a normal medical condition. It would be like going to a dinner party and saying, ‘gosh it was awful, last week I came down with a cold…’ but instead saying ‘gosh it was awful last week I came down with a terrible case of hysteria. But one quick trip to the doctor got me all sorted out. Might visit him again next week (or even weekly), just to be sure.’ Symptoms of hysteria included (but were certainly not limited to) anxiety, irritability, general disinterest and physical/mental and emotional frustration (sound familiar?)… but there was no shame. It was normal to have it, and normal to be treated for it. So normal in fact, it was an epidemic.

An epidemic, people.

By mid 19th century it was said that at least 75% of the female population in Britain were affected by this condition. When you think about women’s rights in that era it’s really not surprising… I’m pretty sure a woman’s happiness in the bedroom was not on the top of anyone’s list of concerns.

And the treatment?

Pelvic massage. Of course.

Pelvic massage, a treatment performed manually by physicians. The treatment was performed until the patient got to a state of “hysterical paroxysm,” or what you or I would call an orgasm. It was good business for doctors, very lucrative, because women who received this treatment were almost guaranteed to return for a repeat treatment… funny that.

The poor physicians complained at length about having to perform this very physically taxing procedure. Workers comp hadn’t been invented yet and the RSI that they were experiencing was stressful and painful. Poor old guys. So of course, in an era of invention, a solution was soon created.

The very first vibrator.

A tool to aid a woman to reach a climax, and ultimately, get the job done quicker.

It didn’t take long for the initial enormous and cumbersome machine to evolve into something more “hand-held”. The first real vibrator (then called a “massager” but let’s not kid anyone here…) predates the invention of the vacuum cleaner and the electric iron by at least a decade. Priorities people, priorities.

Soon enough the vibrator moved from doctors surgeries to a private market for home “treatment”. Over the years these devices have evolved and changed and shrunk in size, so that they can fit snugly the secret drawers of bedsides tables the world over. And there they have remained in our contemporary world. Secret. Unspoken about. But used by most of the population. Because let’s face it, we all love a happy ending… and life isn’t anything like Hollywood.

If you’d like to read more about the history of hysteria and vibrators and see some pretty phenomenal contraptions, check out this article. It’s got some pretty crazy pictures. Consider yourself warned.


In a world of over sharing there aren’t too many things that we don’t talk about. We don’t live in a world with too many taboos. But there certainly are a few that still exist. Masturbation, vibrators and sex in general (real sex, not pornography) still give us the giggles and we are encouraged to shy away from talking open and honestly about these things. But why? Sex is, and always will be a (wonderful) part of life. So why fight it? We talk about it, with our friends, behind closed doors. We giggle and we laugh and we compare notes. We tell stories that shock and stories that create envy. But one thing we still don’t really talk about very often is masturbation. I only have one very dear and wonderful friend who talks about masturbation like she’s talking about going to the movies. She rocks. When I mentioned this particular give away to her, her response was, ‘oh gosh, well I can’t enter, what if I won? I’d never leave the house.’

Masturbation. It’s not a new thing. Men do it. Women do it. We aren’t rewriting history here… but for some reason, we are all so embarrassed to admit that we do it. God forbid.

So, even though you don’t own one (wink, wink)… maybe it’s time you should.

What you win: Up for grabs is a vibrator that has wan 5 international awards. It’s designed to give you the ultimate solo-play experience. It’s aptly named the “Thrill” – you can read all about it here. And one lucky Inked reader will have one all of their own in time for Christmas.

So now, I’m sure you want to win. Right?

How to win: Like Inked in Colour on Facebook, then comment on this post describing your sex life with the title (and artist) of a song. Most creative/original answer wins. The winner will be chosen by me & the team providing you this great give away. You can absolutely use a fake name if you want to for this one guys, just use your real email address so I can contact you if you win.

This competition is open until Sunday 15th of December and is open to Australian residents ONLY. Winner will be announced on this post (and by email) on Monday the 16th of December.

I was not paid to write this post. I was however gifted product. Merry Christmas to me (and to you).


** This competition is now closed **

It was really hard choosing a winner. There were three obvious favourites. Rose, Nadine and Jo were all in the running to win right from the beginning. But I’d like to offer a HUGE thanks to all of you for sharing and laughing and loving and commenting. You all rock.

The competition winner is Nadine because her comment made all of us laugh and offer a pretty enthusiastic sisterhood fist pump.


I love this! Well currently ..

‘Welcome to the jungle’ by Guns & Roses

I was actually thinking yesterday ‘ I should really sort that out’.



Similar Posts:

  • December 11, 2013 - 6:35 am

    Beck - Lol! I watched a doco on this. How hilarious! Even funnier was the drs started getting carpal tunnel.
    Paradise by the Dashboard Lights

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:04 am

    Dr Seuss - Let me love it out of you- tim mcgrawReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:08 am

    Emily - Great article sash!

    Song – All night Long (Lionel Ritchie)ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:31 am

    Mumma Love - “I touch myself” by The DivinylsReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:32 am

    Brandee - This made me laugh!! I never knew any of that!! Im sure you will have many entries. Here in Canada ‘toy’ parties are very common!!! 🙂 It does make one wonder what made them thing your blog was a good spot for this giveaway! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:34 am

    Gabriella - Memories – From the musical ‘Cats’ by Andrew Lloyd Webber …. Hehehehe! * Big, melodramatic sigh.*

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:35 am

    Alisha - Sounds like an awesome give away. The history lesson is the best I’ve ever had too.
    Kate Miller-Heidke- ‘you’re the voice’ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 7:50 am

    Jeannie - Hark the Harold Angels Sing By Lots of different Artists

    He calls me his Angel, and Boy do I sing when my boyfriend hits all the right places every night!ReplyCancel

    • December 11, 2013 - 9:24 am

      Jeannie - Wait…I was so excited I missed the resident of Australia only part…Darn…I think mine was pretty darn awesome too!ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 8:44 am

    Dee - Yeah – Usher – a lady in the street but a freak in the bed 😉ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 8:51 am

    Cydney - if only i lived in Australia ha!ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 10:06 am

    Kels - With three kids under 4, my song is a Fastlove – George Michael. Don’t tell hubby 😉ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 11:14 am

    Nadine - I love this! Well currently ..

    ‘Welcome to the jungle’ by Guns & Roses

    I was actually thinking yesterday ‘ I should really sort that out’.ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 11:32 am

    Lila - I’d have to say “you can’t always get what you want” with the sex police still sharing our room it’s often the case “but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”
    It really is funny how trained we are to be embarrassed about this stuff.ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 12:36 pm

    Samantha Charles - Ha what an awesome giveaway, I am going to go with ‘Poor Some Sugar on Me’ by Def Leppard 😉ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 2:20 pm

    Jo - You sexy thing from The full Monty. “I believe in miracles…” the miracle is after 4 kids us both being awake at the same time to notice the other is still sexy.ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 3:06 pm

    Li - Love in an Elevator- Aerosmith
    Because there’s definitely more work than play in my life! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 4:27 pm

    Andrea - Bloody brilliant that is. These days if a doc’gave you that kind of pelvic massage you’d probably have a right to sue them or some such.
    Ha! How times have changed, but I bet there are plenty of women out there with ”hysteria” who could do with a good pelvic massage!
    No song from me, i’m all sorted 😉ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 4:29 pm

    missbean - The lion king: circle of life.

    Ha! Otherwise, Bella ruse: an animal, a natural. Have you heard them before? I would suggest the divinyls “I touch myself” but that seems to be cheating.ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 4:36 pm

    Anomaly - I am the less quiet, not reserved sister and I am DEFINITELY entering this giveaway (one can never have too many toys 😉 )… My sex life can be described by the song “6 Different Ways” by The Cure (the cure for a lot of things being a good, resilient sex toy 😀 – hence my answer is a double banger…….)ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 4:53 pm

    t - Need you tonight – inxsReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 5:54 pm

    Elena - Awesome Sash! :))))
    Gutted I don’t live in Australia….but my song would probably be: *Kiss me baby one more time* by Britney; and I would replace kiss with something else! :))
    I loved ‘Hark the Harold Angels Sing’ suggested by your reader, Jeannie…brilliant and in season! :))
    And there was a film released in 2011 called Hysteria about the invention of the first vibrator, I would recommend it if you girls want to know a bit of history on this theme 🙂ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 6:00 pm

    Maxabella - You shook me all night long – AC/DC

    Sometimes… ha!!

  • December 11, 2013 - 8:09 pm

    Rose - My husband works fifo so I have a few different songs that could be used to describe my sex life!
    The two weeks he’s away what else but… Divinyls- I touch myself
    The first few days he’s home is all… TLC- Ain’t 2 proud 2 beg (‘yo, if I need it in the morning, or the middle of the night, I ain’t too proud to beg no’ 😉
    Then the night before he takes off again its… TLC- Red light special 😀ReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2013 - 10:27 pm

    Dominique - i cannot enter as I am a U.S. resident, but I thought this was awesome and I knew right away the song I would use, so I am throwing it up just for laughs. Thunderstruck by AC/DC.ReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 2:49 am

    Kat - “I will get there” by warren, from “prince of Egypt”

    Because with determination, eventually, I usually do.ReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 8:14 am

    Kate Tennant - Missy Elliot – Work It.

    because I do 🙂ReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 12:22 pm

    Skye - Seal – kiss by a rose
    Faith no more – Epic
    Robert Palmer – simply irresistible
    Tina Turner – Simply the bestReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 12:34 pm

    Skye - Led Zeplin – stairway to heaven
    U2 – with or without youReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 12:37 pm

    Skye - Kings of Leon – sex on fire and on call
    Red hot chilli peppers – suck my kiss
    Colette – ring my bellReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 2:30 pm

    Kerryann Tovey - luv this comp!!
    ‘Licking Cream’ by Sevendust!!!!! 😉ReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 2:36 pm

    Denise - The No Pussy Blues – Nick CaveReplyCancel

  • December 12, 2013 - 2:36 pm

    Denise - The NO Pussy Blues by Nick CaveReplyCancel

  • December 13, 2013 - 7:54 am

    old hippy - Divorced 10 years so .”I can’t get no satisfaction” Rolling Stones ha haReplyCancel

  • December 14, 2013 - 5:39 pm

    Leigh - Woohoooo!! Someone said it! Masturbation is normal and we all do it!! Thanks Sash!!

    I shocked my husband recently with the news that I used to come home from school as a teenager and masturbate all afternoon until my folks got home after 5pm – he thought only the guys did that kind of stuff!!

    However, some days I think I have made myself clitorally dependent with all my masturbation as I have never orgasmed during sex in my 15 years of being sexually active!! No matter how hard my husband tries :/ He knows I require clitoral stimulation afterwards to arrive at my destination! Well worth the effort though!

    Anyhow, getting to my song…. it is a little bit more comic relief but it is probably more true than we ladies care to admit… it has a lovely melody line and it is by Tenacious D and it is called “F%&* Her Gently” it is a little funny and rude with the “F” bomb dropped in it!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya8GOAH_ckIReplyCancel

  • December 15, 2013 - 6:11 am

    Anna - I think ‘wouldn’t it be nice’ by the beach boys would be pretty accurate …ReplyCancel

  • December 15, 2013 - 8:53 am

    Ris - I absolutely love this article. I even showed Df and told him I was in such a bad mood because I was suffering from hysteria lol
    Song: “the bad touch” bloodhound gangReplyCancel

  • December 17, 2013 - 9:22 am

    Nadine - Yay!!!!! Thank you Sash. I cant believe I won! And just in time for christmas, haha. I really enjoyed this article and im glad you had the guts to post it. I learnt something new and it made me look at 19th century women in a new ligbt.ReplyCancel

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *