Hysteria and Happy Endings (An adults only give-away)

PIN ITimage credit: unknown.

I don’t do giveaways very often any more, for a variety of reasons… when this particular product was pitched to me I was hesitant. I politely declined, but I didn’t stop thinking about it. I asked a few people and everyone’s first response was “No way, you can’t do that,” so I started to want to do it more… My response was always, ‘but why not?” and no one, not one person had a good answer for me. When I asked my lovely, quiet and often reserverd sister, she admitted that she had no good reason why I shouldn’t do it, but couldn’t help but whisper, “but what will people think of you?” And that was it. It was settled. I had to do it.

Think of me what you will.

If you are at all prudish, this post probably isn’t for you. I suggest you click away right now. Or if you’re feeling a little brave, read on… this give away might just be exactly what you need.

 

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PIN IT

In 19th century Britain, feminism was a long way off making any real ground. Women we not often afforded the same rights to education, they were customarily forced into marriage, they were paid poorly if they were allowed to work at all. Women had very little autonomy afforded to them. They weren’t allowed to vote. But these same women, women with not right to vote, were customarily visiting the doctors office to get off, with absolutely no shame at all.

Sexual frustration, a condition known as Hysteria, was not an embarrassment. It was a normal medical condition. It would be like going to a dinner party and saying, ‘gosh it was awful, last week I came down with a cold…’ but instead saying ‘gosh it was awful last week I came down with a terrible case of hysteria. But one quick trip to the doctor got me all sorted out. Might visit him again next week (or even weekly), just to be sure.’ Symptoms of hysteria included (but were certainly not limited to) anxiety, irritability, general disinterest and physical/mental and emotional frustration (sound familiar?)… but there was no shame. It was normal to have it, and normal to be treated for it. So normal in fact, it was an epidemic.

An epidemic, people.

By mid 19th century it was said that at least 75% of the female population in Britain were affected by this condition. When you think about women’s rights in that era it’s really not surprising… I’m pretty sure a woman’s happiness in the bedroom was not on the top of anyone’s list of concerns.

And the treatment?

Pelvic massage. Of course.

Pelvic massage, a treatment performed manually by physicians. The treatment was performed until the patient got to a state of “hysterical paroxysm,” or what you or I would call an orgasm. It was good business for doctors, very lucrative, because women who received this treatment were almost guaranteed to return for a repeat treatment… funny that.

The poor physicians complained at length about having to perform this very physically taxing procedure. Workers comp hadn’t been invented yet and the RSI that they were experiencing was stressful and painful. Poor old guys. So of course, in an era of invention, a solution was soon created.

The very first vibrator.

A tool to aid a woman to reach a climax, and ultimately, get the job done quicker.

It didn’t take long for the initial enormous and cumbersome machine to evolve into something more “hand-held”. The first real vibrator (then called a “massager” but let’s not kid anyone here…) predates the invention of the vacuum cleaner and the electric iron by at least a decade. Priorities people, priorities.

Soon enough the vibrator moved from doctors surgeries to a private market for home “treatment”. Over the years these devices have evolved and changed and shrunk in size, so that they can fit snugly the secret drawers of bedsides tables the world over. And there they have remained in our contemporary world. Secret. Unspoken about. But used by most of the population. Because let’s face it, we all love a happy ending… and life isn’t anything like Hollywood.

If you’d like to read more about the history of hysteria and vibrators and see some pretty phenomenal contraptions, check out this article. It’s got some pretty crazy pictures. Consider yourself warned.

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In a world of over sharing there aren’t too many things that we don’t talk about. We don’t live in a world with too many taboos. But there certainly are a few that still exist. Masturbation, vibrators and sex in general (real sex, not pornography) still give us the giggles and we are encouraged to shy away from talking open and honestly about these things. But why? Sex is, and always will be a (wonderful) part of life. So why fight it? We talk about it, with our friends, behind closed doors. We giggle and we laugh and we compare notes. We tell stories that shock and stories that create envy. But one thing we still don’t really talk about very often is masturbation. I only have one very dear and wonderful friend who talks about masturbation like she’s talking about going to the movies. She rocks. When I mentioned this particular give away to her, her response was, ‘oh gosh, well I can’t enter, what if I won? I’d never leave the house.’

Masturbation. It’s not a new thing. Men do it. Women do it. We aren’t rewriting history here… but for some reason, we are all so embarrassed to admit that we do it. God forbid.

So, even though you don’t own one (wink, wink)… maybe it’s time you should.

What you win: Up for grabs is a vibrator that has wan 5 international awards. It’s designed to give you the ultimate solo-play experience. It’s aptly named the “Thrill” – you can read all about it here. And one lucky Inked reader will have one all of their own in time for Christmas.

So now, I’m sure you want to win. Right?

How to win: Like Inked in Colour on Facebook, then comment on this post describing your sex life with the title (and artist) of a song. Most creative/original answer wins. The winner will be chosen by me & the team providing you this great give away. You can absolutely use a fake name if you want to for this one guys, just use your real email address so I can contact you if you win.

This competition is open until Sunday 15th of December and is open to Australian residents ONLY. Winner will be announced on this post (and by email) on Monday the 16th of December.

I was not paid to write this post. I was however gifted product. Merry Christmas to me (and to you).

 

** This competition is now closed **

It was really hard choosing a winner. There were three obvious favourites. Rose, Nadine and Jo were all in the running to win right from the beginning. But I’d like to offer a HUGE thanks to all of you for sharing and laughing and loving and commenting. You all rock.

The competition winner is Nadine because her comment made all of us laugh and offer a pretty enthusiastic sisterhood fist pump.

Nadine:

I love this! Well currently ..

‘Welcome to the jungle’ by Guns & Roses

I was actually thinking yesterday ‘ I should really sort that out’.

 

 

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• Monica Markovina