I get homesick a lot when I’m away, but I get itchy feet when I stay too long. When I’m in the village (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) I miss lots of things. I miss my comfort food, I miss the ease of western life, I miss the social aspects. But more than anything, I miss my family. I am one of five and am lucky to have brothers and sisters who are not just siblings, but friends. I have always missed them but after Bo, it’s been a different kind of longing. I want Bo to have a good relationship with her aunties and uncles, I want her to be friends with her cousins. But right now, living in the same place isn’t possible.
So we have been reveling in moments of what-it-would-be-like-if [we lived here]… Like cousins sharing a bath, playing together and cars with dual car seats. Last night ZZ and Bo had a bath together, played together. The third cousin, Didi, was here but at 15 was understandably not so keen to join in on cousin bath time. It’s been really special seeing them interact, my sisters children and Bo… sharing discovery. We all went for lunch at our favourite pay-what-you-want vegetarian restaurant in the city, we shared good food, great laughs and lots of stories. I love my siblings, and I love my niece Didi and nephew ZZ so much. They are special little (and not so little anymore) people with wonderful ideas and amazing personalities that I am so proud of. They are individuals, one a wacky, weird and absolutely joyous little boy just embarking on the world… the other a mature, kind and beautiful young woman with the world at her feet, hers for the taking. I’m so grateful that Bo has them to share her life with over the years.
As much as I loved every moment, every laugh and every sleepy eyed babe in the back seat of the car… it’s all tainted slightly because there is someone just as important to me who is not here. I’m always torn between this world and the world where we are living… hoping, wishing that they could come together more often and be one.
One more day and we go back to Indonesia, to the man and to the simplicity of village life. I’m going to restock tomorrow and then pack our bags… it’s almost time to go home.