This life (are you ok?).

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We spent last weekend in Perth, surrounded by friends and family. Connected with beautiful people that I haven’t visited for months. All week I’ve had my mind on connection. Connection with our friends. Connection with our children. With ourselves. With the world around us. What are we if not connected?

There is nothing more important than connection.

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I hope you took the time yesterday (and every day, for that matter) to check in with someone you love to make sure they were OK. It doesn’t take much to check in, to connect, to look someone in the eye and really listen to how they are. It’s so easy for all of us to shrug it off, shrug off our friends moods, shrug off our own… it’s so easy for us to get caught up with things that seem so important and forget that the most important thing in the world are the people around us.

More than a year ago one of the worlds most beautiful people, the best friend I have ever known, took her own life. None of us knew it was coming. That night we were called to her home, that night I stood with her friends and with her sister with my baby on my back and I felt my heart ripped in two. I sat in the ocean a few days later on a surf board in a paddle out of more than fifty people from a small village. I sat in the ocean and I spoke about what it is to find family in the most unlikely of places, and what it is to lose a friend. I sent my love and my grief and my guilt into the sky and the salt of my tears mixed with the sea. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about this beautiful friend. Not a day goes past that I don’t wish I could just pick up the phone and call her, or meet her at the beach for a lemon juice and a game of 500, or walk to her house and sit on her cold tiled floor about love and life and roosters and culture and… and… and lay on her lap and watch old movies on a laptop in the heat of the tropical afternoon. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could ask her for her advice or give her mine. Not a day goes past that I don’t wish I could ask her… ‘are you ok?’ Not a day goes past that I don’t wish I had done something differently.

So many of us have lost someone we love to suicide, and the very sad truth is so many of us will experience this pain again. It takes so little to reach out and to connect with each other, to not be afraid to ask for help when we need it… to not be afraid of our feelings. To never, ever be ashamed to speak out.

Are you ok?

I hope so. x

 

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  • September 13, 2013 - 6:17 am

    Jenn - I miss her everyday too :( I think about her and now worry about Ky (her sister), weekly. I always just check-in to make sure she’s ‘ok’ and to tell her I love her.

    You are such an inspirational woman, Sash and I am so thankful you came into my life when you did. I truly believe we met for a reason! Our connection, the things we can talk about and the advice I seek and give is something I truly cherish. I hope you know that!

    I cannot wait to see you!! (12 days!!!) yay!!!

    Thank you for reminding me to reach out to those I love. I often forget to pick-up the phone when I’m feeling down bec I hate burdening others with. This post just reminded me that I could NEVER truly be a burden to those that I love and to those that love me.

    This is one of the reason’s I love you dearly.

    xxReplyCancel

    • September 13, 2013 - 8:15 pm

      Sash - Can’t wait to see you my friend xx Not long now!ReplyCancel

  • September 13, 2013 - 10:57 am

    Mama's Secret - This was very touching.ReplyCancel

    • September 13, 2013 - 8:14 pm

      Sash - Thanks xReplyCancel

  • September 13, 2013 - 3:41 pm

    Alma - There are some blogs I would like to always have a cup of coffee next to me when a new post is published. It s my special time and my daily joy to read them. Greets;-)ReplyCancel

  • September 15, 2013 - 8:07 pm

    Peggy - Oh Sash, I know this grief you talk about. I lost a dear, dear friend to suicide 9 years ago and I still think about her every day. Some days I feel angry she left us, or regretful that I may have taken our short days together for granted, or heart broken when I see her beautiful children grow up without their mother (they were so young, they didn’t have the chance to know her like I do). But mostly I feel terribly sad that she felt she had no other choice. I can’t imagine how alone she must have felt, I’ve spent years grappling with the guilt that maybe I wasn’t there for her.

    I am ok. I hope you are ok too. It was an absolute delight to spend time with you and your gorgeous little sidekick.

    Beautiful photos sweets. xoReplyCancel

  • September 16, 2013 - 7:37 am

    J - I heard about your friend… I have met her here and there when I went to the beach. And I did see that you two were so close and so full of joy in each other’s company.

    This is a beautiful post to read, Sash. Sending my warmest hugs to you. I can’t imagine how devastating losing a best friend would make me feel… And this post makes me realize that I should call up my friends more often.

    xoxoReplyCancel

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