And… it’s been, up until about a week ago, really easy.
At first it was hard. There are a few things I wish I had purchased before the year began… like a new pair of sandals, so I didn’t have to spend the summer in my shit old sandals that have the soles adhered to the base with blu-tac currently (I can’t find my superglue… seriously, I know I have some around here somewhere). Or my lack of t-shirts without holes in them… But then, somewhere around week four I just got over it. I just stopped giving a shit. So what if I have a t-shirt with a hole in it? So what. Then I just got over it… Bo and I went into the shopping mall for the first time this year yesterday. I had to visit one of the mainstream supermarkets for something that our farmers markets was out of… we walked through the mall and had a bit of a browse around. I was quickly amazed by the amount of crap that we are pushing on people. Well packaged “stuff”that assures it can solve any of your problems. I don’t miss it at all.
We have more than enough.
This week is, however, proving to throw some of the biggest challenges my way. I accidentally bumped a lens earlier this year, and it broke. Then two weeks ago my lovely SLR just stopped working and I’ve just got the quote back from the repairer and it’s expensive. Too expensive… but still cheaper than replacing (second hand)… and I sat with the quote for two days before I realised that I didn’t have much of a choice. I needed to repair it. I needed to pay a professional to repair it… and I couldn’t justify a repairable camera going on a garbage heap just because I thought the repairs were a total rip off. So repair it, I will… despite the fact the consumer part of me just wanted to use this as an excuse to upgrade a camera that I’d quite like to upgrade anyway…
We have more than enough… I say to myself. Sometimes through gritted teeth.
It’s Bo’s birthday this week. I’m throwing her a little awkward dysfunctional-family party, for the very first time. I’ve named two of my favourite friends of all time her (g)od parents… and we are having a little afternoon tea for the kids and some beers and food later with some of our people. I’m doing this whole party and gifts without buying anything new… and you know what? It’s been hard. I’m pretty time poor at the best of times and this is pushing me over the edge… so I’ve been up in the middle of the night, alone in my backyard, scraping and sanding an old broken dollhouse that I bought from the rubbish tip for a couple of dollars… so that Bo will have a beautiful gift on her birthday… even though I’m going to pretend her birthday is actually Saturday because I have to work on Friday and Bo will be at daycare. Without me. Which I’m totally OK with. Mostly…
And I made chalk for the kids at the party.
I made chalk. Because I can’t buy chalk…
I had a moment a week ago where I wondered why I was doing all of this. I was having a bit of a crazy week of hormone insanity (which I’ve had some awesome advice about, that I will share with you all soon) so I was riddled with self doubt.,. I was stuck in a bit of a spiral where I couldn’t figure out whether you could discuss an issue like the consumerism bubble without A. being judgemental or B. making people feel shit… so I stopped writing about it. Then I got an email from a reader that was so lovely and so out of the blue and so generous and grateful (nothing on how grateful I was for HER)… and I realised that I’m not doing this for anyone but myself. I’m making conscious choices that are changing the scope of our lives… and sometimes, you know what?
That’s more than enough.