Being great… and admitting it.

PIN IT

It has been a very hard few weeks. Months. Year. I have struggled. I still struggle. Searching for a peace within it all, a peace that seems to be elusive, a place where I feel calm and clear and confident. In myself. I write about these emotions here, I write with ease about the secret feelings that spin around my mind creating a whirl pool that draws me in in the darkest part of night. I write my love and my pain and my most raw truths.

Sometimes I wonder why people read these blogs. I know why I write them. But why people read them? I read many blogs (much like this one) and have a list on bloglovin’ that is miles long. And I read every single post of every single blogger that I follow. Why? Well, not all of the blogs I read are about parenting or babies, so I do read them for different reasons. but at the end of the day I read them for inspiration. I read blogs for solidarity. To know that someone else out there, somewhere, is feeling what I’m feeling. Someone else is suffering from a lack of sleep. Someone else feels inadequate, someone else feels joyful but alone. That even though I’m here. Someone on the other side of the world is living a parallel life. And we are then alone, together.

Making us never truly alone at all. Which I love. There is nothing more heart breaking than feeling alone.

People want to read about other people struggles. They want to read pain and challenge and great success. They want to know that they aren’t alone in their insecurities. They want to be reminded that life is not fair, to all of us. That their petty day-to-day dramas are not theirs alone. We all want to cheer for the underdog. We want to read that someone else failed, so that we can say, me too! I did that too! We want to laugh at someone elses mistakes because it makes us feel less foolish about our own. Less lonely in this big wonderful mess that is life.

But being a parent. Being a lonely, challenged, frustrated parent is not the only kind of parent that is out there. And although I have my days… it is not the parent I am most days. There are moments, sure, where I feel like I’m not good enough.

But every day, every single day of Bo’s life, I have known that I am. I am a bloody great parent and I’m so proud to be one. And that joyous, confident statement should NOT be so hard to write.

I am a good mother. I know I am. I talk to my baby. I sit with her in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep and I hold her and I rock her and I whisper secrets into her ear. I’m not afraid to jump up and be present. I do not have a single regret about any decision for or about her. I don’t regret taking her to Indonesia and I don’t regret bringing her back. I trust my instincts most of the time, even when the push to change from other people is strong.  I know that I am trying 100% to be the best role model I can be for her. EVERY. DAY. I know I am doing everything I can to respect her and show her that love, true love, is unconditional.

But sometimes I read these (baby) blogs, and I see one of two things. On one hand there are blogs where mamas write about how hard it is, how challenging it is, how they doubt themselves and falter. And on the other hand, there are blogs that portray the perfect life. Where every photo is set up, children are costumed and their hair is always neatly combed. Where style meets good food photography and the impeccable taste can sometimes feel a little daunting. They are both real in their own way, but neither is absolute. There is something missing.

Why?

What are we so afraid of? Why can’t we show the whole truth? Are we afraid of admitting that we are great (flaws and all)? Is it easier to admit our failings than our successes? Are we embarrassed of admitting that we LOVE this parenting gig. That even with all its drool and spit and smells and stickiness that we LOVE what we do. Even when we don’t like it, we know we are good at it. Are we scared of being called vain? Or arrogant? Isn’t that sad…

Don’t be afraid of admitting you’re not perfect. Because you’re not. You have failings just like each and every one of us. It’s what makes you human and sometimes it’s what makes you great. But don’t be afraid to admit that you’re awesome too. Admit it without shame, without precedence. Admit being a great parent without being afraid that someone will call you cocky or full of yourself. Give other parents the balls to against the grain and to admit that they are great too – even when they aren’t perfect.

So in the spirit of being not just good enough, but being GREAT at this parenting gig. Tell me… what do you do that makes YOU an awesome parent?

xox

We are still trying to settle back into life in Australia. With sickness and nostalgia and confusion rife this week… we are a little behind. We will announce the winner of the Ergobaby doll carrier in the next post. Thanks for your patience, friends!

 

Similar Posts:

  • October 18, 2012 - 12:23 pm

    Cass - I yell at my kids, and some days i feel like I’ve really failed them – set them up for emotional failure in the future. But their response always flaws me and reminds me that those moments are not the sum of everything i give and everything I feel and show and teach to my kids. When my 5 year old pauses me mid-adult-tantrum and says, “its ok mum, I know you’re stressed out, I forgive you” and gives me a hug… I hold back the tears. I am so proud of him, so proud of what I have helped him to become. Its not those unattractive moments that really matter, its the thousands of others that do.ReplyCancel

    • October 18, 2012 - 7:39 pm

      Sash - Oh what a compassionate little man you have! Well done mama!ReplyCancel

  • October 18, 2012 - 12:38 pm

    Beck - I dance with my 2.5 year old every day, and as ridiculous as I may look I love it.
    I listen to all the crazy stories, from start to finish and ask many questions.
    My kids aren’t perfect eaters, or sleepers but they are mine and they love me for trying my best.ReplyCancel

    • October 18, 2012 - 7:40 pm

      Sash - Perfection is seriously overrated anyway! I love a good rediculous dance… THOSE are the moments that kids remember for a lifetime.ReplyCancel

  • October 18, 2012 - 1:06 pm

    Rebekka - This made a bit teary because its soo true.
    I am getting frustrated if he isn’t eating properly for some reason I haven’t figured out and then I get scared he doesn’t put enough weigth on or the whole sleeping issue. but then there are days were I just don’t care and just let him lead and those days are great and I try to make them happen more often.ReplyCancel

    • October 18, 2012 - 7:40 pm

      Sash - You’re doing great Rebekka. It’s a bloody hard gig this parenting business. Let him lead… HE knows what he needs, and really, all he needs is YOU. xoxReplyCancel

  • October 18, 2012 - 6:30 pm

    Elise Harrison - Although she is very new at being her, what with only being 9 & a half months old, I try to give her the space to be her own person.
    She wants a cuddle to go to sleep? Why would I deny that to my one true love?
    She wants to dinosaur growl & crocodile roll while I’m trying to change her nappy? Sure it’s annoying but I know she won’t do it forever.
    She feels the need to sing very loudly at me while I’m washing the dishes? Beautiful, I love that she’s found her voice!
    She’s really funny, she loves to smile & laugh, loves to cuddle and loves her friends & family. And I’m down with all of that. Hopefully it’s because I help her to feel comfortable and safe as much as possible…ReplyCancel

    • October 18, 2012 - 7:38 pm

      Sash - That little girl is SO lucky to have you as her mama! xoReplyCancel

  • October 18, 2012 - 10:05 pm

    Heather - It’s crazy, I can come up with way more reasons why I do everything wrong. Mama guilt’s a *itch! For a mom of 3 ages 4 to 7 months, and a husband who travels and is gone during the week, most days I feel lucky if we all make it to the end of the day alive! But you’re so right, I AM awesome. There’s a reason why none of my kids will let anyone but mama tuck them in at night. And while that may be exhausting, I cherish it because I know it won’t last forever.ReplyCancel

    • October 19, 2012 - 6:17 am

      Sash - Yes! YOu are awesome mama! Oh Heather, I have Bo (8 months) on my own most days/nights (every day/night at the moment) and it’s sooo hard. How you do it with three? AMAZE-balls. xoxReplyCancel

  • October 19, 2012 - 11:17 am

    colettebeguin83@hotmail.com - Reading this post and all the responses are all so true Everything else in life is so trivial and unimportant when you look at their gorgeous, cheesy, loving, trusting toothy grins it is all put into perspective. Life should be seen through the eyes of a child more often. I think this is one thing I need to learn and practice more often.ReplyCancel

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*