I am struggling finding the words. In between attempting to provide some opportunities to explore and engage(but not school, because lets face it, I’m not their school teacher) and gently love and calm and settle three children who are not used to spending so much time in each others company in a world that appears to be falling down all around them, and making all of the snacks (seriously, why do they eat so much?!) and finding the socks and the shoes and disinfecting and vacuuming and hand washing and trying to keep screens to a minimum (who am I kidding!?)… well there isn’t a lot of me left at any time of the day.

We are doing what all the other families are doing all around the world. The very best we can. What more could we expect of ourselves? Or each other? Or our children?

Some days I feel totally unproductive. And then I realise. All of this is productive, it’s just productive in the new order of things. The children are safe. The house is warm. There is food on the table. There has been sun on the skin. I’m taking photos again. We are still laughing. We are together. We are doing okay.

We are doing okay.

You are doing okay.

But fuck it feels hard to breathe sometimes.

What is getting YOU through the long days at home?


  • April 9, 2020 - 10:15 am

    Reannon - Much of my day feels the same because I am lucky enough to still have some work but then I get home & kids need to be schooled & all the other house stuff needs doing but extra because three kids are now home ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

    I wrote the other day that returning to things of comfort is very helpful to me right now. That means reading books I’ve already read, watching tv shows or movies I’ve seen, cooking for the joy of it & getting outdoors as much as I can, whether it be yo dig in the garden or take children & pets for a walk. All very helpful. As is connecting on Instagram which is not something I normally find helpful but in these wild & wooly times it is.ReplyCancel

  • May 4, 2020 - 1:26 am

    Patricia - I definitely have pandemic privilege. I already do some work remotely, I have been able to move some of my sessions onto Zoom. My youngest is 16, so I do not have littles at home. I am currently doing emergency respite for a family whose father is dying, he has a couple of weeks at most. The family has an adult son with autism living at home. He is my focus, watching someone you love fade away is always sad and heartbreaking, but during a pandemic, there is an extra layer of heartbreak because your friends and family cannot gather around you to provide support. It will be a lonely walk for his wife once he is gone, with none of the rituals of grieving that we are used to.ReplyCancel

PIN ITHello!

I’m Bo. Leila Bo. I’m 8 years old. I am in year three and I am stuck at home.

It’s really weird being stuck at home. My family is talking about Covid 19, we are talking about so many different things than we used to. 

Lots of things are different, such as:

  1. I don’t get to see my friends at school anymore.
  2. I don’t get to see my grandma anymore.
  3. I have to stay home and not go to school or anywhere else.
  4. The government is making us stay home from school if we can.
  5. People are getting more and more protective.
  6. We have to wash our hands a lot.
  7. We never used to take our shoes off when we get home but now we have to.
  8. I have to wait in the car when my mum goes to get something from the shop.

I feel really scared about all of this. I’m worried that covid 19 might spread to my family. The more that people try to tell people about how bad it is, and then that’s all we are talking about. Then everyone is just talking about all the bad stuff. And that makes people more scared. That makes me worried.

My grandma is in self isolation because she has bad stuff in her knee that could make it worse if she got the virus. We need to protect her so she doesn’t get sick and it doesn’t make her knee worse.

It’s good being home with my mum. We get to hang out all day together which I like. We get to do cool things like using the internet to answer our questions. Like how big do Giant Squid grow and how do they make babies. They are red. My mum thought they were white. She was wrong. 

I like staying home. I don’t like going to the shops so I’m glad that I don’t have to do that any more. And besides, it protects us from getting sick.

I like that I get to see my mum all day and every day and I get to sleep in. I don’t sleep in. But I could if I wanted to.

I am wondering about all the other kids stuck at home right now. I wonder what everyone else is doing at home and if they are having fun?

Thanks.

L.Bo

  • April 1, 2020 - 10:26 am

    Kathy Aylward - Hi Bo lovely to see you are enjoying the extra time with your Mum. I used to love reading your Mum’s blog when you were a little tiny girl and always loved your Mum’s photos…see is good at taking pictures. It is good we are all staying at home to make sure everyone is safe however it is hard not to see your friends or go to school everyday. One day you will be able to look back and say when I was 8 I got to stay home with my Mum and do school on the computer like a country kid. Stay safe – hope you are still growing some veggies.ReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 11:16 am

    Joanne - Mmmm…. Stuck at home or safe at home??? It sounds like you are having fun trying old and new things. Have you been video chatting with your grandma and friends? George is liking sleeping in too. He doesn’t sleep in but he could if he wanted. Keep writing xxx Joanne (George’s mum)ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 11:30 am

      Sash - Hi Joanne! How is George? I hope he is good. And Harvey too. We are video chatting with friends and family a lot. What is George doing for fun?ReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 11:19 am

    Katya - Hi Leila Bo,
    I love that you have started a blog. Writing and reading are always great things to do and they help us understand ourselves and each other.
    Its ok that things are different and its ok that its hard too. This will be a weird time for everyone, at least we’re all in it together.
    I haven’t seen your Mum for a very long time but we studied together in Melbourne years ago. I met you once – years ago as well – and I’m so happy you’re continuing to be amazing.
    Sending you and your Mum heaps of love.
    Keep writing!
    KatyaReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 1:50 pm

    KATE HEASLIP - Way to go Leila Bo
    love TWO
    xxReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 1:53 pm

    Reannon - Hey Bo!

    I have 3 kids at home & the eldest one is still going to work. None of the kids who have to stay home really like it, they’d rather go to school & see their friends. I think they like being able to cook a yummy lunch every day, having time in their iPads in the afternoon (but only if they clean up their mess) & doing lots of craft. One of my kids is in year 12 so he isn’t doing craft, he is doing school work but also helps by looking after the other 2 while I go to work.

    I think it’s nice that you like spending time with your mum.

    And I can imagine it must seem really scary & that hearing everyone talk about the bad stuff going on can make things worse. My boy Blake, who will turn 7 in 3 weeks, is really angry with the virus & also gets sick of hearing about it. Just remember how lucky you are to have a mum who is helping you stay safe & healthy.

    Enjoy your time at home Bo!ReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 2:55 pm

    Angela - Hi Leila Bo!

    Loved your Blog!! What an excellent writing and a great way of documenting this time for you, your family and the world.

    Glad to hear your enjoying this time, live it up cause it won’t last for ever.

    I think we are very lucky to be with our loved ones. Today my son built a cubby out of blankets and table. now he has a parents free space. Which is a ok in my books.

    Look forward to your next post.ReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 5:38 pm

    Amber - Hey BO! Miss you crazy cat!
    Tallen is listening to a lot of Harry Potter audio books and getting very creative with his drawings! He flows me around the house a lot but also plays with Bodhi and Ayda! Zoom chats with the crew are funny!
    We are cooking so much good food what’s fun and yummy!
    We did some cool white roses in food colouring trick today if you haven’t done it it’s a fun easy one! Also if you want to get tricky you can split the stems and put each side in a different colour 😉 stay wild xxReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 7:10 pm

    Jeannie Bruce - Hi Bo! I used to read your Mommys blog all the time. I am so happy to see your blog post today. It is the happy that I needed to make me smile!ReplyCancel

  • April 1, 2020 - 7:16 pm

    Melissa Manson - Hello Bo! We haven’t met but I’ve enjoyed watching you grow. I grew up with your grandma in King City. Has she told you about King City?
    We’re doing the same thing in the United States as you are… staying home. I’m home with my dog. We go for walks in the woods and play in the yard. Like you, she doesn’t like the shops so I do that by myself when I have to.
    Hope you keep finding fun things to learn about.ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2020 - 11:29 am

    Pearl - Hi Bo,

    My name is Pearl. I am 7 years old, I live in the Gascoyne, in a small town by the sea. I am stuck at home too.

    I feel good because I don’t have to go to school. I get to play and paint all day. I have a big squishy pug, it’s a squishy soft toy. It’s name is Sparkle Bows.

    I love cats, animals, nature, MLP (My Little Pony) and trips to the river or beach with my family. I also love holidays.

    I am in year 2.ReplyCancel

    • April 12, 2020 - 12:35 pm

      Sash - Hi Pearl!

      Thanks for sending me a message! We like lots of the same stuff. Your soft toy sounds cool. I have a real dog. He is not really squishy but he is fluffy. His name is Jakey. I also like going to the beach.

      Love Leila.ReplyCancel

  • April 7, 2020 - 1:37 pm

    Aimar - Hello,

    My name is Aimar, I’m also 8 years old. I live in Terrassa (Spain, near Barcelona). I am also stuck at home. Today is day 25. I miss my friends a lot. We meet in hangouts and each day we dress up as something we decided the day before. Tomorrow we’ll dress up as DJs.

    What things are you researching with your mum? I am interested in birds. What birds do you have in Australia? Which is one is your favorite? Mine is the peregrine falcon, it’s the fastest animal in the world.

    Thank you,

    AimarReplyCancel

    • April 12, 2020 - 12:37 pm

      Sash - Hi Aimar,

      Spain is very far away! It’s cool to hear from you! I have never been to Spain, what is it like there? I like animals. I am always doing research about different animals. At the moment I’m interested in Narwhals. We have lots of birds here. In our backyard. We have pink and grey cockatoos, and willy wag tails and rainbow lorikeets too. We like watching them play in the trees. We found one on our grass. But it died. It was sick I think.

      I hope you aren’t too bored today.

      Love,
      Leila.ReplyCancel

  • April 9, 2020 - 4:19 pm

    Aimar - Hello Leila Bo,

    I am Aimar, I live in Terrassa (Spain) and I am also 8.
    We have been indoors for 27 days today, we don’t have a garden so my grandmother bought a trampoline for me and my sister so we could jump. We also cook, read books, do arts and crafts and sometimes get bored. I want this virus to go away soon.

    I miss school the most, I love going to school with my friends.

    I love birds, what kind of birds are there in Australia? We have a friend that sends us a photo of a bird everyday and we have to guess it’s name. I am pretty good at it.

    AimarReplyCancel

PIN ITIt’s been a while.

I’d be lying if I didn’t come straight out with how strange it feels to be writing this blog again.

And yet, here I am. Writing.

I’ve been trying to write this post now for about two weeks, trying to find the right words when there doesn’t appear to be any words to describe the state of the world right now.

Our State Borders are closed, and today the borders to our region are closing too. We have been advised to stay home if we can. There are bare shelves in the supermarket and what is there is increasing in price at a rapid rate. We are on waiting lists for Ventolin and Children’s Panadol and cannot find yeast to make bread. We have come to accept the ritual that is disinfecting everything every time our home bubble is burst by the outside world, which is daily at this stage as my partner still must work outside of the house. I was in the process of setting up a new business when all of this hit. I’d just quit my job in the city and moved regionally again. It isn’t without difficulty but we are lucky. We are lucky I moved, we are lucky I quit. If I hadn’t our family would now be separated by the invisible wall between the regions we lived in.

We are the lucky ones. With an incomes and homes and backyards for our children to play Bondi Rescue in, dunking barbie dolls into buckets and commanding the ever obedient sheep dog to “rescue” (something he does with great joy over and over and over again). We are the lucky ones. The ones with the heat on as winter is coming, the ones with a roof and a car and the family in our homes that hold space for us when the world feels too dark and too heavy.

We are the lucky ones.

We are the lucky.

We are.

Over the coming months I will continue to come here and write again. Whether anyone is here to read or not. Bit by bit I will find the words that I have only written in private for years now. Seeing if the groove is still there to fold our lives into once more. Our kids might write too, they have shown some interest since they discovered this blog months ago. A blog they had no idea existed. Fascinated by the stories I told of the life I lived before. Bo fascinated by the stories of her infancy. Fascinated that she hadn’t known of this world that had featured her for so long.

For now though I’m more interested in you. What does it look like where you are in the world? Are you okay? How are you feeling? What has changed? What remains the same?

Until next time.

Sash x

  • March 31, 2020 - 1:55 pm

    Noni - Lovely to see you back. Things are the same and not the same for me. Our business continues, but shakily. Our eldest daughter, the one with BPD &anorexia, is in a different state, in a DV shelter, in contact with her abusive partner. She refused to come home, and we can no longer go to her. A lesson in letting go. A lesson in knowing the boundaries between my life and hers. A wish that she was still tiny and tucked up here with the rest of us. I go on, preserving and growing what I can in our rental property, dreaming of my own small holding one day. Finding gratitude in the little things. We are lucky. XReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:33 am

      Sash - Lessons in letting go are so painful. I hope you are doing okay Noni. Gratitude in the little things is the biggest thing of all xReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 2:16 pm

    Jo - So lovely to see you again here.
    You find us at home and unable to work due to the virus. Trying to keep the four remaining kids at peace at home. The 16 year old has had school come to a sudden end and is struggling as he is normally out all the time. One of the 18 year old twins is still doing college but remotely now but the whole world is online so our connection is struggling. Her twin brother has been ‘furloughed’ from his nursery apprenticeship. My youngest who is normally homeschooled seems ok, lots of chatting to his friends and I’m getting my garden going.
    My eldest is in Berlin and that feels far away now from us in the uk.
    Look forward to reading more.ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:32 am

      Sash - You have so many different people to worry for Jo, you sound so calm, I don’t know how you do it! Keeping the peace is a full time job isn’t it? Being unable to work is so hard. Thank you for checking in xReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 2:30 pm

    Alicia - So lovely to read you again! I share some of your “old” mama posts with friends as they portray what I’d like to tell them about mamahood and parenting but I lack the words.

    We are in Spain, confined in our flat, with a small balcony. We are 4, two of them 8 and 4. They seem to manage all this much better than us adults. Today is confinement day 18. I never thought I could bare being locked indoors (the mountains just 300m away) for this long without going mad. There are days when I cry and get frustrated, but most of the time we are just grateful we are together, we are healthy, we have a job that allows us to work remotely). We have no idea when we will be able to see family and friends again, or if and when schools will open. So much uncertainty. We worry for those that are losing family to the virus, they are dying without being able to say good-bye and hold hands with their loved ones, we worry when it hits countries in Africa or systems with poor health care, we worry for the families confined in tiny flats with complicated economic situations and unhealthy relationships, we worry for the children where food at school and school itself is a little window in their hard childhoods… So yes it is hard, but we are grateful for what we have, even if being indoors sometimes makes us cry.
    Thank you for coming back!ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:30 am

      Sash - It’s such a big wide world of unknowns right now isn’t it. We are worrying about all the same things here on the other side of the world. We are still far behind what is happening in your beautiful country and we worry about our community here when it really hits too. It’s only a matter of time. You are doing such an amazing job! I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I’m sure we will get there in time too. I hope you have something that is just for yourself in amongst taking care of your family? xReplyCancel

      • April 9, 2020 - 4:26 pm

        Alícia Betts - Hello!

        My son Aimar has tried to post two comments on Bo’s post, but we can’t see them up later. Just wondering if she will get them. He is also 8 and also stuck indoors 🙂

        We adults with children at home need some alone time, or I need some alone time, so I sometimes take long showers or give them a bit of extra screen time just for silence and some sun. It’s hard on all of us, we have to forgive us for not being as productive as always, for feeling tired and grumpy at days, for feeling lazy others, for just wanting to shout out the window that all this sucks and we want to go and run in the mountains please. Mostly we do a great job, and I am very impressed with the resilience and adaptability of the children. Love, snuggles and sharing how we feel takes us a long way. We have also become experts in arts and crafts with things we have at home.

        I love reading you, so glad you are back!

        Take care, and also try and focus on the tiny things, there are so many beautiful and raw moments in living together for such long periods, we might never have so much time together… who knows.

        AliciaReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 2:50 pm

    Cath - I’m so glad you’re back and writing again, friend. Be kind to yourself – I’m sure your kids will write if they have half of your talent and passion!
    Love to hear Bo’s thoughts on the world 🙂

    I’m writing on Facebook notes too – it’s a time to be cathartic and get out the feelings.
    Sending love from Perth xReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:33 am

      Sash - Cath! Get those feelings out. Better out than in I reckon xx Love to you from the South West.ReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 3:35 pm

    Ecky - Sash, it’s so good to read your writing again. We are under direct order to go back to Australia, we tried to fight to stay put but they wouldn’t let us. So on Thursday night the 4 of us are flying out to Australia, land in Sydney and usher into out appointed hotel for 2 weeks self quarantine. I have read awful stories about the room and the food but I am thinking there are people who are far worse than us so we are going to suck it up and embrace it. We are putting our brave face in front of the children but deep down we are anxious about the travelling and what if we get it while we are at the airport? Or on the plane? And how can we survive 2 weeks in a hotel room with 2 children? My anxiety has been so high lately and I pray that this shall pass 🙏. Glad you are ok and stay safe Sash. 😘ReplyCancel

    • March 31, 2020 - 6:49 pm

      Herlina Masonwells - AARRGGHH Ecky Upritchard!!!!ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:28 am

      Sash - Oh Ecky! So stressful. How are the kids doing? Are you guys en route back to Canberra? Please let us know if we can help at all? I’m not sure what we can do, but always happy to help in any way possible! Are you guys in Indo now? xxReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 4:03 pm

    Kay - Hi,
    Glad to hear you’re back, I really liked your content, a lot of honesty, empathy
    and interest.
    Thank youReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:27 am

      Sash - Oh Kay, thank you! I had no idea if anyone would be here any more if I sent something out into the world. It’s so nice to hear from you!ReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 6:48 pm

    Christen - Welcome back. Wonderful to see you writing in this space again. You have always been a voice of calm in a storm.ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:34 am

      Sash - Hey Christen, thanks so much xx I hope you are well, wherever you are xxReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 6:48 pm

    Reannon - SASH!!!! I had to do a double take when I read your blog name in my feed. I’m so happy you’re here, that you’re back.
    Life in Perth is the same as everywhere- lots of people trying to figure out how to live in this new world. I work as a community support worker for adults with autism & even though I’ve lost over half my hours I’m still out 3 hrs a day helping people do their groceries, get their exercise, to be a familiar face in their ever shrinking world.
    Since last Thursday I feel like can’t get my footing. In one day I lost work & then got told schools would be closing. With kids in year 1, year 2 & year 12 my mind is scrambling to figure out how to make this work while still trying to hold on to my job as long as I can. I feel super emotional but am finding solace in crocheting at night, gardening in the afternoon & sharing far too much nonsense on Instagram. My mantra is we’ll be ok. We will. I repeat it often.

    I’m looking forward to reading your words more often. Welcome back xxReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:26 am

      Sash - Oh Reannon, it’s hard isn’t it! You will be okay. You will. Keep repeating! This is such a weird time for everyone. Being kind to yourself is very important!ReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 6:53 pm

    Herlina Masonwells - Oh Wow! checked my Twitter after loong time and saw your tweet <3 . It bring backs so many memories of how we all 'met in Facebook Group pregnant and finally one by one gave birth. The ups, the down, together in that little 'village'ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:25 am

      Sash - I miss those days! It was always so nice to be surrounded by so many amazing women! I hope you are well? xxReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 8:49 pm

    Sonia Rosenbalm - I’m so happy to see your writing again. And I’m glad to hear that your family is doing well. 🙂

    Life in our area of the US has become slightly more restricted with each passing week. Because of everyone’s panic stores have had to limit their hours & quantity of food you can buy. I was definitely for this limit because it’s allowed us to find the items we need. Not like the first week, when everything was bare. However, some of us still have to go to work so we try our best to just get through all of the madness- taking it day by day. It’s been a struggle having to make it a habit to disinfect every day though. When this is all over I wonder if we’ll keep it up?ReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 10:36 am

      Sash - We are doing the disinfecting thing too as my partner must be at work for now. I wish we could all just tuck up in our bubble and not let the outside world in at all, but we don’t have that privilege. Purpose driven work is good for him, some days I wish I could swap places and leave him here with the kids though. We are becoming more and more restricted too, day by day. It’s hard, but we are so lucky. I wonder how the world will be changed at the end of all of this. For the better, I hope. I hope.ReplyCancel

  • March 31, 2020 - 11:49 pm

    Adelle Wigley - Helloooo! So happy to find you posting again, I never posted previously but this blog got me through some dark times after my husband passed many years ago and I found my self a single parent, leaving my ‘ever-after’ life in Australia and moving back to the UK where I am from. I am still in this position, though much more accepting of my situation and feeling blessed to now be in a position of privilege and stability, as this virus wreaks havoc worldwide. Very much looking forward to reading your posts again, you have the most inspiring, thought-provoking and uplifting writing style XxReplyCancel

    • April 1, 2020 - 9:51 am

      Sash - Thanks so much for coming back! Thanks for your kind words! I’m so glad you’re in a good place of stability in this topsy turvy life. I hope we get to know more about you as we come together more and more over the next few months. xxReplyCancel